Chapter 3 Answered Prayers

After being diagnosed with Lou Gerhig's disease time seemed to slow down. I was fired from my job at Payless shoe source. I also quit pursuing my college education.  Depression over took me.  The one bright source in my life was Tim. We couldn't wait to get married after he returned from his mission.  He said he prayed every night that he could be sealed to me in the temple. I told him that he wasn't obligated to marry me since the doctors were only giving me 3 to 5 years to live. On January 14th 1995 we were sealed in the Los Angeles temple.  It was the best day of my life because not only did I marry my best friend, I married the love of my life. Tim's prayers were answered.
Married life was great. We spent a lot of time together because Tim was working part time while going to school.  I was happy in our marriage but I felt my life was stagnant.  I felt like I was simply existing,  and I wanted to grow spiritually and intellectually.  Once again I began my studies at Cal State Bakersfield,  but this time majoring in psychology and being pushed around in a wheelchair.   My anxiety was so great that I could not eat before classes.  I also made my mom sit with me through my classes.  The university provided students with disabilities help such as note takers and extra time on exams. I greatly appreciated these services.  I kept praying for my anxiety to cease, but even after a month,  I was still making my mom sit with me in class. So one night in fervent prayer I asked the Lord to take away my anxieties so I could finish this quarter because I wouldn't have the strength to complete my schooling if I continued to be sick with nerves everyday. The next morning I awoke with a calmness I had not felt in months.  I ate breakfast and told my mom to drop me off at my first class and I would get someone to push me to my next class.  It was obvious to me that the Lord prepared the way for me to graduate with honors in 1998. It was a great accomplishment to be the first in my family to graduate from a university. 
Tim and I bought our first house right before I graduated.  He got me a puppy as a graduation gift also. We named him Toby. How I loved that dog. We became best pals. Since I was still able to walk short distances, I would go out in our backyard and let him run around.  My life again felt stagnant.  Every day was the same as the day before. Watching TV and playing with Toby but no sense of purpose.  I outlived the doctor's expectations and my abilities were still intact and I wasn't bedridden but I wasn't doing anything.  I was simply there.  It was like Satan told me, I was a waste of space.  I knew Satan wanted to pull me down into a deep depression so I went to the Lord in prayer and asked what my purpose here on earth was. Heavenly Father always answers my prayers.  This one just took longer than usual.

My parents moved to Coarsegold California. I loved it up there.  It was so relaxing and beautiful to be surrounded by nature. When Tim received an opportunity to work at a bank in Oakhurst California near Coarsegold,  I knew the Lord was directing me to be with my parents. Now,  instead of sitting home alone I could be with my parents.  They drove me around to visit my grandparents and aunts and uncles.  My life was full of activity again but, I still wanted to know my purpose.  On a spring Sunday morning I was sitting in Sunday school studying Alma in the Book of Mormon when the teacher read a verse that seemed to literally pop off the page. The verse was Alma chapter 17 verse 11. Which reads:
....
Finally I knew what my purpose was and why my disease wasn't progressing like the doctors said it would.  I know now that I'm here to be a witness for the love our Heavenly Father has for all his children.  No matter what trials I am facing the Lord always strengthens me and lightens my burdens.  My prayers are always answered even the simple ones to find Tim's keys.  I trust in the Lord and he trusts in me. When he sends the spirit to burn in my heart I know that I need to speak up and bear testimony of him. Through prayer I've come to realize thay the more I act upon his promptings my healing will come little by little.

Chapter 1 My early years

I was a miracle baby. My mother was on birth control when I was conceived because my brother Mark was only 8 months old and she was ready to have 3 children under the age of 5.  When my mom found out she was pregnant she was not happy.  So my dad told her this baby is mine and he was right. I was a daddy's girl from the beginning. My mom said my eyes were wide open looking at everything.  I was ready for life to begin here on earth.  My earliest memories were on a little farm in San Martin California next to a dairy.  We had a horse, chickens, ducks, and of course cats and a dog.  This is where my love of animals began.  I am a middle child with an older sister and brother and a younger sister and brother.  My parents called me the peacemaker of our home.  Our favorite pastime was going camping.  There are many nights we gathered around a campfire to sing. This is where my love for music began.  Until I was 8 we lived in California close to all my extended family. Then my father was transfered to Tucson Arizona with IBM.  We had absolutely no family around us so our church members became like family. 

Life in Tucson was better than I thought it could be.  It helped having a brother that was one grade ahead of me.  We had a lot of the same friends and hung out together.  Music was a love for both of us and we were in many choirs together.  My first solo came in 4th grade in the play Free to be you and me. This solo gave me the confidence I needed to pursue performing.  One of my favorite choirs was in junior high.  We were called Pioneers of music.  My self-esteem grew as I developed my talent of singing.  It seems like those years in Tucson flew by.  I guess the adage is true, time flies when you're having fun.  In the middle of my sophomore year my dad announced that we were moving back to California.   

In the summer of 1989 I was going to my first especially for youth conference.  I was super excited because I was meeting up with my good friends from Tucson. Six months earlier my father was transferred from Tucson Arizona to Bakersfield California.  The move brought me great sorrow.  Especially for youth is a fun filled week where teenagers enjoy games, lectures by motivational speakers and dances. I remember one specific talk when Lehi told his family that Jerusalem would be destroyed and his family would have to leave the city.  His son Nephi believed in his father but Laman and Lemuel murmured and called their dad a visionary man.  I tried to put myself in their shoes. It was easy for me to because I had just left my friends and home to come to a city where I knew no one. And I murmured.  I wish I could say I was like Nephi having faith, being faithful,  and trusting the Lord. The changes in my life were just beginning. 

My heartache for Tucson lightened my junior year. My main focus in high school was music. I was in two plays and hoped to be a singer in the future.  Choir was so fun. It was a time I could let loose and be myself.  There is a special bond you create with the other singers in choir. It is similar to a family bond. I guess it grows through lifting up your voices together to make beautiful music.  Music has always been a powerful tool in my life. I could express my feelings through song. If I needed to get away from the world I could sit at my piano and play for hours.  Most importantly music could lift my spirit or calm my soul.  A boy caught my eye in choir. He was so funny and I couldn't help but flirt with him.  He would call me a tease and Brenda bows because I liked to wear bows in my hair. The more he pushed me away the harder I tried to get his attention.  My flirtatations worked. We Started dating November 12, 1989. I'll never forget that telephone conversation. It went like this: I asked, "So are we an item?" And he answered,  "Sure." The boy's name was Tim. He had officially become my boyfriend.  Years later he admitted to me that after that phone call he did a fist pump and celebration dance.

In the spring of 1990 a stake musical was being put together by Tim's mother Liz Waite. I received one of the leads and Tim was in the chorus.  We practiced for many months. The musical was called Going Home. During dress rehearsals we would wear all white. It was at a dress rehearsal that something incredible happened.  As Tim and I held hands to walk off stage a vision opened up to our minds and we both saw ourselves dressed in white outside the Los Angeles temple on our wedding day. The spirit was so strong and we were filled with joy.  Now I knew how Lehi felt. With this vision I had no doubt that Tim would be my eternal companion.

We graduated high school in 1991 and both started college in the fall. Of course I majored in music. College was much easier than I thought and a lot of fun. After our first year of college Tim received his mission call to Okayama Japan.  We made many memories that summer of 1992 before Tim left in November. 

Jesse is 6 months old

The past six months have gone by so fast. It is so exciting to see
Jesse grow right before my eyes. Sometimes he changes so much in one
day. He has brought so much joy to our family. It's still hard to
believe I'm a mom. When I look at him I feel so blessed. Happy 6
months Jesse baby.
Love,
Mama

My first official Mother's Day

I woke to the aroma of French toast and sausage. The next thing I knew
a handsome man walked in my bedroom and fed me breakfast in bed. After
breakfast Tim placed a beautiful charm bracelet around my wrist
engraven with the words "Jesse Timothy Miracles Happen." After I got
dressed for church Tim pinned me with an orchid corsauge. Today felt
different than any other Mothers day. Thank you Tim for making my day
so special. I love you and Jesse.

Guess Who's 4 Months Old.

Today Jesse is 4 months old. He's the best baby in the world. I find joy in every burp, fart and giggle. He's growing up so fast. I never thought my life would be so great. It also has a lot to do with being married to the greatest husband and father. I'm looking forward to my first official mother's day.

Jesse's Blessing Date

Thank you to all our friends and family who helped make Jesse's blessing day so special. Jesse looked so handsome in the outfit that his Grandma Waite got him and the afghan that his Great Grandma Waite knitted for him. I would like to thank Lisa Waite for all the photos of Jesse and the special DVD tribute of Jesse. We absolutely love it and will treasure it always. Thank you Anna, Amanda, Emily and Molly for traveling so far for the special occasion. I enjoyed spending the weekend with you all.

Jesse 1 month old

Now that Jesse is one month old he's best friends with Angel.